When I changed my blog description a while back I was lazy and rather than rewriting it from scratch I added ‘musings on parenthood’ as one of the things that this blog is now about. Which isn’t quite accurate. While there have been many many baby photos and a fair bit of baby chat, I haven’t actually talked about being a mother at all. I do have lots of stuff to say, but some of this can be quite difficult to say without inadvertently offending anyone, so I’ve always pushed those kind of posts into the future when I’d have more time to draft them properly. Except that clearly isn’t going to happen, ever, now I have a little person. So I thought I might as well start somewhere small.
I’ve been reading a fair few baby blogs, because somehow when you have a baby yourself, other people’s baby photo’s become irresistible. I don’t know why that is, before I had a baby, I thought people’s babies were cute but I wouldn’t actively seek them out. Now though I can’t get enough.
In many ways, mama blogs are not really for me. I don’t read them for advice, since I decided early on to not read too much so as not to feel confused by contradictory things or guilty for not doing something. If it’s important enough the health visitor or doctor will tell me. Also because of my job I get unduly irate at people misrepresenting research, so mostly internet based advice is bad for my heartrate.
The other thing is that most of these blogs are written (and read) by people whose lifestyle is so different from mine that I find it hard to properly relate.* They mostly seem to be stay at home parents (i.e. mothers) who had their kids really young. Plus so many of them seem to be Mormons who think 1950s gender roles are natural and think it’s their religious duty to have kids and that childless people are selfish and morally dubious, so I kind of have to avoid the writing as well. And I do often find the lovey doveyness a bit much. I mean, of course you love your husband and kids, I kind of take that for granted since you have chosen to blog about them, no need to tell us into hyperbolic style every single post.** But I still love those blogs for the pictures, it’s so weird!
I was reading GOMI the other day and people were moaning about people putting pictures of their children on the internet and how that was a sign of neediness, wanting the whole world to confirm to them how flipping adorable their children are. I do think there are some privacy issues with posting pictures of their kids who have no choice in the matter, but I don’t see the vanity issue particularly. Clearly that criticism could be levelled at all sorts of blogs, the need to have the world confirm how pretty/welldressed/creative/talented/intelligent you are, and I never felt that to be too much of an issue. There are a squillion reasons why people blog, and it’s rarely if ever purely for external validation.
I did briefly consider not showing pictures of Milo, or not mentioning his name, but at the end of the day he is such a big part of my life now, and if I didn’t talk about him I don’t see how I could carry on blogging at all. I do love the connection and companionship of the comments I receive, but sometimes I don’t get any, and I still like the post. I don’t need anyone to confirm that Milo is incredibly cute because (1) I am his mum, so of course I’m gonna think that and (2) almost all babies are. Which brings me back to the other baby blogs. Even if their authors are fishing for compliments, I’m happy to oblige!
Sorry if this post was a bit of an unfocused stream of consciousness. Better get used to it I guess!
* If anyone has recommendations please do tell. The ones I like best are ones that used to be blogs about other stuff where parenting/kiddie stuff has come in as they’ve had kids, rather than specifically baby blogs.
** Yeah, I’m a heartless bitch.***
*** Not really